What kind of pain or discomfort is experienced during a heart attack or stroke?
The Pain of Goodbye: A Personal Account of My Husband's Final Moments
Losing someone to a sudden heart attack is an experience that leaves no time for preparation or goodbyes. My husband passed away at the age of 53 after suffering a massive heart attack. It began while he was behind the wheel, but he somehow found the strength to pull into the parking lot of a small hair salon before collapsing. That strength, even in his final moments, still amazes me.
Later, I visited the salon and spoke with the owner—the woman who had called 911. She shared with me the moments she witnessed as he struggled for his life. According to her, he stumbled out of the car, disoriented and speaking in slurred, unintelligible words. His appearance was so concerning that the salon staff initially thought he was under the influence. Out of fear, they locked the door and called the owner.
By the time she came out, he had collapsed near the vehicle, still trying to speak. What he did manage to say has haunted me ever since:
“It hurts, it hurts. I’m going to die. I’m going to die.”
He repeated this over and over again.
She described his fear—how visible and raw it was. In those final moments, he vomited across the hood of her parked car. The paramedics arrived soon after. They tried desperately to stabilize him before transport, but he continued to cry out in pain and fear. Eventually, they took him to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead on arrival.
I often reflect on those final words. Somewhere, I think I hoped for something different—some message of love, something profound. But how could I expect that? He loved me. He loved our four children. We knew that already. In the end, he was in unimaginable pain, both physical and emotional. And now I understand: sometimes the final words aren’t grand declarations. Sometimes, they’re simply the truth of what someone is feeling in that terrifying moment.
Our children are grown now, but they still talk about him all the time. The shock of losing him so suddenly, with no chance to say goodbye, left a deep mark. Even now, I’ll get tearful calls from them, especially from our youngest son, who was only 15 when he died. They still need to talk about their father, to process the grief that never fully disappears.
Yes, heart attacks can hurt—terribly. But it’s not just about the physical pain. It’s also about the fear, the helplessness, and the sudden rupture of a life that was full and deeply loved. I take comfort in knowing he loved us. That love lives on in our children, in our memories, and in the everyday stories we still tell about him.
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